Getting a Little Clearer

This week has clarified a few things which is quite fantastic. . .

1. Seeing clearly
Baby Boy FINALLY got his glasses!! We ordered them the first week of October and they took eight weeks to be specially made by hand and another four to be fitted to fit his darling little down syndrome features. His prescription is -26.00 which makes them about a half inch thick and explains how blind he really is right now. (When he has lens replacement surgery in about a year or two he will likely become glasses free, he might even be able to get contacts soon too!)

It has been amazing to see him see for the first time (I wish I could post a picture!) His eyes are HUGE and he looks at everything! To my surprise, he leaves his glasses on so he must be able to make the connection that they help him. I cannot imagine being blind for four months and now finally being able to put a visual association to all of the things and people he has been around his whole life. He just watches our faces and takes in everything. Unfortunately, he is only four months old which means he spends lots of time laying on his back or tummy or in seats that support his head so everytime he turns his head, his glasses move and then he has a mini panic attack. . . So once we strengthen that little neck, we'll be better off. He's not quite strong enough for a bumbo chair so he's been getting acquainted with the Johnny Jump! (Side bar, not sure how people stay sane while raising babies without the Johnny Jump, my hat's off to you!) Anyways, he's super cute and we're living vicariously through him as he learns about the world for the first time through sight.

That brings us to the next of his five senses, hearing.  He failed his newborn heading test so he took another one about a month ago which he also failed so he took a third one two days ago which. . . Edit for it. . . He failed again! So, now it's possible he just needs tubes in his ears (best case scenario) or he has life long hearing loss. (Yet another fun trait of down syndrome. . . He just about got everything a newborn with down syndrome can get beside heart defects.) To determine what we're dealing with, he needs a more in-depth hearing test that requires him to sleep for an hour and not move while they shove things in his ears. (Not gonna happen.) So he has to be put under GENERAL ANESTHESIA which is INSANE to me, to under go the test that will determine how much he really does hear. (The previous tests were strictly pass fail and did not offer a range for his hearing.) However, if they get in there and see that he needs tubes, they'll just put them in while he's under so that's the only saving grace to the situation. We just haven't had great experiences with general anesthesia which is why I'm not thrilled, hopefully all of the things that caused his past complications have been remedied and it goes a little smoother this time. So, we're praying for tubes and a good prognosis. Poor little fella, bad hearing plus bad eye sight can't be fun!

2. Court Clarification
Last post I talked about how I was not sure if birth mom was going to have to really do all of the things on her "to-do" list to get baby boy back or if close enough could be good enough. So, at a recent team meeting (all the caseworkers, foster parents and birth parents) mom was reminded that it ALL needed to be done, and she has been. . . Dragging her feet I suppose you could say. We left the meeting with the understanding that she still had time, limited time, but she needed to get to work. (Well, I think we all understood that except her.)

The next week was court. We all went into it expecting the judge to slap her on the wrist and tell her to get to work, and then schedule another review hearing in about 60 days. However, instead the DCFS attorney and the baby's attorney both asked that the next hearing be moved to 45 days and changed to a permanentcy hearing. This means that mom was told that in the next 45 days she has to complete half of her list, including but not limited to staying clean, (she has not been clean for the past 2-3 months) attend drug counseling, take a parenting assessment and follow their council,  attend weekly support groups for parents of children with down syndrome, attend all of his doctor's appointments and be on time to everything. If she fails on any of these points, the judge will schedule a termination of rights trial and her services, visits, etc. Will be revoked and she will loose the opportunity to be his parent. After that, his permanent placement will be found (unless some freak of nature thing happens, we are his permanent plan!!!) And he will be adopted.

So, the next 45 days are a HUGE deal. We will see what mom will do and how serious she is. If she does the list perfectly, she'll just have to continue on with the rest of the list, which is much harder and she will be given more time. I have heard of parents in worse condition getting their kids back so until we stand in court and get all of the adoption paperwork finalized,  we're not out of the woods yet but we at least will have some clarification. And one of my biggest fears in the process has been diminished because everyone in the court saw through mom's deceit and has a strong grasp on baby boy's needs. I now know that there is a team of people working along side us to make sure he has the best life possible. So it's back to faith again. I've never in my life wished that someone would fail, but I don't see his mom having the mental capacity to care for him even after having completed her list of to do's. So I guess,  in a very selfish way, it'd be very wonderful to get this court process over sooner rather than later. All in all, I hope we see her true colors in this time frame, whatever those may be. If I could write the script, we'd have a finalized adoption awhile before our baby is born, but i can't see the future. There are still a lot of unknowns, frankly, a random family member could come out of nowhere or mom could pull it together. So, we'll see, and I'll let ya know!  (Right now I'm trying SUPER hard to not think about it so I don't go insane in the next 45...42 now days... see I'm already crazy.)

Until then, we are looking forward to finding out what kind of baby we're growing, boy or girl, this Monday! And more importantly, we're hoping to see a little healthy baby so we'll update you soon!

Thanks for your prayers and support!