Merry Christmas!

We hope everyone had a great Christmas this year! We can't believe it has already come and gone! We're still getting use to writing 2013 on things... I don't know where time goes! We had a pretty good Christmas this year! Christmas Eve was at our house again, we had Tanners family and my family all over to celebrate! We had yummy food and opened all of the PJs! We put the kids in bed on time at 8 which was a Christmas miracle! Tate kept asking to go to bed I guess all the fun exhausted him! Santa came and went by 9pm! I have a feeling I should enjoy that while it lasts because I don't think we're going to be as lucky next year!

Christmas day my parents and Hunter came over to Skype with my brother Tyson serving his mission in Sweden (click the link to the right to view his blog with more info!) it was awesome to hear from him! I'm so lucky to have brothers who are such amazing brothers and uncles to my kids and such amazing examples. If I could be half the person they are, I'd be lucky.

Then, we went over to the Ricks to see all of the aunties and those Grandparents! (and uncle Dallin) It is always fun to visit them but the kiddos were again exhausted from the day's festivities so we ran home, took naps and went to my parents (along with Tanner's parents) and had our annual homemade pizza Christmas dinner! It was great! We are so blessed that both of our families celebrate the holidays together! We can be with everyone at the same time! We are so blessed to have such amazing family and a such a big support system! We love them all and they are the ones we are most grateful for this holiday season!

 

Also, we'd like to give a shout out to Tanner's Grandma Ricks. She passed away last week and her funeral is tomorrow. She was his last living grandparent; she was such an amazing example of what it is to love and nurture your family and teach your children and grandchildren the way they should go. She had a strong testimony of the gospel and is an excellent example to all of us. She had a long bought with her health after being diagnosed with a brain tumor  4 1/2 years ago on our wedding day. We will miss her, but she is reunited with her husband Emerson Llyod Ricks who passed away a few months before our baby Emerson was born. We feel and see their legacy through our children. They will always be loved and missed.

 

Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!



FINALLY....waiting....

It has been 8 weeks since our licensor came to inspect our house and interview us and now we are FINALLY....OFFICIALLY....awaiting a placement.

Here are the steps we have taken since the beginning of August (5 months) to begin the actual waiting process which could be anywhere from a few weeks to a year...

 

1. Meet with a recruiter

2. Take 8,  4 hour long classes through the month of September/ prepare our house for the home study

3. Meet with the licensor and have her inspect our house. She then types up our official home study and submits it to the Department of Child and Family Services.

4. DCFS reviews our home study through the board and decides to accept or deny our application to become foster parents....they accepted thank goodness!

5. Meet with the Resource Family Consultant (basically the caseworker that represents the foster parents, children in care are represented by their own caseworkers) She goes over things with us and does another interview

 

6. WAIT for a placement.

 

That's right, we've been waiting to wait. But now, it's official, any day we could get a call with a placement (though it will likely take a LOT of days...) but we're excited to get to the waiting part. Now, we just pray everyday for the children who will someday be in our home, that they will feel a sense of peace and comfort and that we will be prepared to welcome them, love them, and meet their needs as they become part of our family (hopefully) forever, or maybe just for awhile.

 

Thanks for your love and support, we will keep you posted on our progress.

 

PS. Our kiddos are doing great and getting so BIG! Tate is adding words to his vocabulary everyday and we couldn't be happier! Emy just started walking a couple weeks ago (she took her time!) and her cute face and smile always lights up our day!

 

We wish all of you a very Merry Christmas!



Maybe I'm not that smart.....

So it's time for an update...We had our home study last week so it looks like we're only a couple of weeks away from being fully approved to begin receiving foster placements! Of course, we're excited about that and also nervous! There is so much unknown in this process and so much potential for heartbreak but we're going ahead with the gamble and trying to focus on all of the exciting positive possibilities and how much we'll be able to learn and grow from the process.

 

This passed week has been quite interesting for me...

Well I don't know if know this but it turns out I'm a brawler. Yep, you heard that right...My Mom and I went shopping just in Tooele Friday night (first mistake) and Tanner kept the kids. We went to Walmart and walked by the electronic section when Mom remembered she needed to get ink. So we turned around and went back and as we went back we saw a man with three kids (an infant, a 2 or three year old and five or six year old) in the photo section and he was screaming in one of the kid's face and then grabbed her by her pigtail and slammed her down into the cart very forcefully. There were a lot of people watching and someone came up to mom and I and asked what they thought we should so. I thought that together we had decided to go tell him that wasn't cool (I know now that it apparently wasn't the decision) So I walked up to him and calmly said; kids don't deserve to be treated like that. They need love and respect. He didn't like that lol surprise surprise. He started screaming in my face calling me every name in the book. At that time, his wife (about 8 times my size I swear) came up to me and joined in with him, she said things like: 'Where are your kids, kids need their moms how about you go home and be with them instead of being at Walmart I can tell leaving them is a normal thing for you' on and on! She even said when you clothe and feed them, you can decide how they should be treated. I was about to say I'd be happy to, how about I call Child Protective Services right now, but I think Heavenly Father was the only one controlling what I said because I never yelled, I never put them down personally I basically just kept saying over and over that they're just little children who deserve to be treated better. Then mom came from around the corner, grabbed my arm and took me away. I was pretty much freaking out. The guy was getting closer and closer to me and totally could've taken me out. A small part of me wanted him to because then I knew cops would be called and those kids would end up in a safer situation. It was obvious he was either high or drunk.

 

I know that I didn't handle it the best way, I could've been hurt, and the kids could've been hurt more. But I really didn't know what to do in the moment and I did know I wasn't going to just stand there and do nothing. I've decided that next time I'll pull out my camera phone and call authorities. But I did realize maybe I don't want to take Tooele cases. Can you imagine running into an angry dad like that at Walmart while you have custody of his kids?! No thanks.

 

At church the next day, I was in the hall during class (don't judge) and a man from the other ward came out and was carrying a screaming child who kept saying: 'I'll be good, I'll be good!' He carried him out of the door kicking and screaming. I watched the man carry him out to his car and begin spanking him hard and repeatedly. That's SO not ok with me, with our church or with anyone I like to associate with. WHY DOES THIS KEEP HAPPENING?! I don't really know what to do! I'm thinking of just staying home from now on, it seems easier! But, like the guy in Walmart, I'm not OK with just letting it go unnoticed and unmentioned.

 

Children are THE most precious people on this earth. They are pure, clean spirits and they are of the greatest importance. It is our job to protect all children. If you know of a child being mistreated, call DCFS, they have the goal to keep children safe, but they also want them to be with their parents. They will help parents gain the knowledge and tools to treat their kids with love and parent in a healthy way. If we all work together, we can help kids be safer.
 Utah's Phone Number for DSFS:1-855-323-DCFS (3237)


Carseats and bunkbeds and babygates! oh my!

Becoming a foster parent is exhausting.

Tanner and I have just completed the 2nd of 8 4-hour classes required to become foster, and hopefully adoptive parents and let me tell you....there is A LOT to do! Will it be worth it? I've been told it is and I really, really hope so...it's so much! But if we're able to help one little person, it'd be worth it all. 

Here's the 'short list' of our preparations....

1. Get a home phone

2. 3 first aid kits of 60 pieces each

3. a SPECIFIC fire extinguisher, that's TOUGH to find

4. a crib set up

5. A bunk bed set up

6. 2 empty dressers

7. our kiddos sharing a room

8. a new van that seats at least 7 

(bought it Thursday for $3500 big ones and it's AWESOME, we can tell Heavenly Father is blessing us in the process.)

9. Get yet another baby gate for all of our millions of stairs

10. Lock up every chemical and pill or something that looks like a pill, under lock and key

11. Build a railing around our front porch

12. Have an available car seat of every size...just in case we get a kiddo that size

13. Re arrange all of our storage in the basement over 2 more feet so it's not within 4 ft of our furnace (even though there's a wall between the two)

14. provide copies of life, home, health, auto insurance, marriage certificates, W2s, tax returns, pay stubs, CPR training...I know I'm missing something....

15. THEN after all of that, they can decide whether or not we're good enough parents personality wise, so ya we could do all of it and never be placed with a child.

But, what keeps me going? What makes us buy more car seats than one could dream up? 

Thinking about where my future child might be right now, when he or she might have had their last meal, how many times he or she might be yelled at, hit at, spanked, completely forgotten, and sadly...worse....

There are little ones out there who need a safe haven, and I don't care how many baby gates I need to find, if I can help just one little person, I'll do it ten times over.

About Us...Now...

So I realize our blog is a little outdated, so we decided to update a little bit....

This is the bio that we used for our online profile for adoption

 

We are a young energetic family living in a very small town in Utah with a lot of love to share and a great desire to open our home to children through adoption. So far, our family consists of four people: Dad, Tanner, Mom Taylor (that’s me!) and our children; our son Tatem who is 3 and our daughter Emerson who is about 18 months  (give or take a month!)

Tanner and I met when he was 14 and I was 11. Our families were fast friends and even opened a business together and Tanner and I became best friends. We didn’t date until we had known each other for over 5 years, and then 2 years later we were married. Soon after, Tanner left for training with the National Guard and I worked on completing my BA in Family Studies (a degree very similar to Human Development) at Utah State University.

Tanner returned home to get a job with DIRECTV Home Services where he is now working as a supervisor. He loves his job and is great at it! But, he loves coming home to his family even more; there are few men who are as hands on of a dad as he is. For fun, he likes to camp, hike, go to movies and hang out with all of us. Tanner has 3 younger sisters who he helped raise and has worked with children by being a teacher at church and an 11 year old scout leader.

I (Taylor) am a stay at home mom to our children and plan to remain here with the kiddos! I love being with the kids, and completed my degree in August 2012 which has been priceless at times. Being home all day allows me to keep a very structured environment and therefore a lot of consistency. For fun, I like to redo old furniture and decorate on a budget. I have a good background with children through my education, but have also served with children at church for over 6 years.

Together, the four of us love to go on adventures, to the park, the zoo and aquarium, camping, swimming, and visiting Grandma’s! (Both Tanner’s parents as well as my own live within 10 minutes of our home; they are a HUGE support system! We also have cousins, aunts and uncles who live in our town!)

We feel like our family is ready to grow through adoption. We would love to provide a safe, loving, structured environment for a sibling group. We know that family is so important and we hope to be able to keep kids with as many family members as possible and also help them bond with our current children.

So many people ask us why we are trying to adopt, and the answer to that question is what keeps us going through the long waiting and decision process: At infancy, my mother was told that it was likely that I would not be able to have children of my own, most of my life I looked forward to the idea of adoption, I was raised by my birth mother and my adoptive father (both of whom were amazing) and my adoptive father was also adopted so it is near and dear to my heart!   But of course I also prayed to be able to have my own children. You can imagine me and Tanner’s delight when we discovered we were pregnant with Tatem, about 6 months after our wedding. Tatem was born happy and healthy and we were thrilled! Tatem is your typical little boy, he loves playing with friends, trucks, trains, cars and making messes! When he was about 2 we realized very quickly that he had a speech delay. He has been in Speech Therapy for about a year now and is making remarkable progress. In other aspects of his life, he is progressing pretty much on track for his age.

Tatem has taught us what the love of being a parent really is. He has taught us what it means to fight for your kids and their needs, and most of all, he has taught us how amazing life can be when things don’t exactly go as you had planned. Although the unexpected can be hard, it is also where the greatest blessings can lie. There is nothing more wonderful and rewarding than helping a child overcome the things that are hard for them and seeing the smile on their face when the light comes on. We have seen how not every child's journey is easy, but we know that every hurdle is worth it. We intend on putting the same heart, soul and fight into every child that comes into our family.

23 months to the day after Tatem was born, Emerson was born. She is such a tender, sweet little girl! She loves to hug and cuddle just about anyone who will cuddle her back and has brought so much fun into our home! Her big brother Tatem adores her and she him. She is right on track with her speech and development and it has been a delight to see how her presence has helped her brother continue to progress.

We have come to the decision together as a couple that our family is ready to continue to grow through adoption. We were recently considering having a third child; we wanted our children to be close in age. We are people who have a strong belief that we can be lead to make decisions through prayer and careful consideration. As we prayed about the decision to carry and birth another child we both felt strongly that adoption was the course of action we needed to take. In fact, Tanner was praying about it and I was praying about but we didn’t know that the other had taken the thought to heart. I had felt that adoption was our answer, but didn’t know how to approach Tanner about it. Little did I know, he had come to the same conclusion; he came to me and said, ‘don’t think I’m crazy, but I think we need to consider foster care adoption.’ I was shocked because I too had felt the same. Days later, we began the process of becoming approved in Utah, and it has been one of our best decisions.

We truly believe that there are children who are supposed to come into our family in a different way than Tatem and Emerson did, through adoption. So far, this has proven to be a long process but we know that our future children are waiting to come home and we will sacrifice and do what it takes to get them here and provide them with all of the support and help they need once they arrive.

If you'd like to Contact Us with questions, support on your journey or to have us come speak to a group feel free to email us:

tayshay91@hotmail.com



LOTS to report

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY EMERSON!!

Emerson turned one and we can't understand where the year has gone! She is so big and sweet! She is cuddly and loving and this results in her getting away with a lot of naughty stuff... I suppose that is a baby's job though! We LOVE her so much and she is a HUGE part of our family! We love watching her learn new things and play with Tatem! Now we are fresh out of babies and only have toddlers! WOW!

Also, at Emerson's birthday party, we announced some exciting news...

Our family has been praying about expanding and adding giving these two some more siblings. In doing so, we have had some spiritual experiences that have lead us to begin the process of adoption through Utah Foster Care. We have begun the process of taking classes and becoming licensed to be foster parents. We hope to be placed with a child in need of a loving home who feels happy here and fits in with us. We know that this is likely going to be a tough road with a lot of unknowns but we feel very strongly that this is what we are supposed to do at this time. Adoption has always been near and dear to our hearts and something that we have considered, but we never expected it to be at this time in our lives. However, the more we pursue and pray about the decision, we feel peace and great excitement to embark on this adventure!

Also, I am sad to report that my dad's dad, Grandpa Larry Haddon passed away this morning after a short bought with brain cancer. His quirky sense of humor and fun, warming personality will be greatly missed, but we feel blessed to have had the time we did learning, loving and laughing with Grandpa Larry. We hope we can carry on his legacy and what it is to be a Haddon.

We love you Grandpa