Birth Moms

So it's been a few days since I've posted mostly because I don't what to say anymore. It's seems like a lot of same thing different day lately.

But, it was Mother's Day so I do think some things need to be said on behalf of all that...

Mother's Day around here was a little nuts. In the morning my family came over before church to Skype my brother who is currently on a LDS mission in Sweden. So we had to be ready earlier than usual which was a miracle in and of itself. Then, three hours of church followed by family dinner at our house with all kinds of grandma's and mom's to go around. We really did have a lot of fun but the day was extremely stressful, mostly because of Little Big Man.

I'm trying to find a way to put this delicately but the kid was acting all kinds of nuts. He was bouncing off the walls and being incredibly defiant with temper tantrums as the cherry on top. My patience bucket wasn't just empty by the end of the day, it was bone dry. That night when he FINALLY went into the bathroom to take his shower (I think we only asked about 15 times), he just plain broke down bawling because he missed his mom. Duh! Hello? Mother's Day!!

I felt pretty sad for him and darn stupid all at the same time! I should've seen these behaviors coming from a mile away, however in the moment when a nine year old is acting like he's three, it takes a lot of deep breaths. As we talked it through it and also explained to him that when he's sad he's got to stop and say he's sad, instead acting cra cra he started to calm down. We came up with a code word he could say on those days if it's too hard to come out and say it.

Mom's are pretty darn important whether they've got it all together or not. That's just the facts. One of my BBF's recently shared her story with me. I haven't seen her in years and was heartbroken to hear that her story aligned with our kiddos far too closely. As she shared her heart with me, I couldn't help but feel sick for her. I wanted to fix it and make it all better for her and her babies. I pray daily for her and her success, hoping that she'll be victorious in her fight and her ending won't be like our birth mom's.

Yesterday we had a team meeting for the kids. I can't say what we talked about, but I can say hearing a mom sob and sob for an hour over the phone is heartbreaking. (Sorry, don't have a wide enough vocabulary for another word to use so I'll say it A LOT, heartbreaking!) I'm no rocket scientist when I say moms have a special bond with their kids, but I think it's sometimes easy to forget that even the struggling moms have that bond as well.

There are tons of times that I'm frustrated with the process, and frankly with mom,  but yesterday reminded me that everyone has a story and a past. Whether we think we have someone figured out, there is always something we don't know.

So, my goal going forward is to be a little less judgy of mom, a little more compassionate, and a lot more humble. There's not one person this process is easy for, but my attitude could make all the difference.