I hope you all had a fantastic time celebrating our nation's freedom!! I felt overwhelmed with gratitude this year for all that we are blessed with here in this great country and state. It's sometimes so easy to get complacent and frustrated with your landscaper (long story), and overlook all that we're really blessed with and take for granted. Sometimes I don't feel worthy of being so blessed! There's no way I've earned it, but I sure am thankful!
This weekend for us had it's ups and downs to say the least. . .
It started with a week that put us through the ringer of one thing after the other just not going a as planned at all. Then Wednesday afternoon Tanner came home sick with food poisoning from a meatball sub he had at work. (He is now swearing off of beef, I'll let you know how long it lasts.) So, he was busy doing what ya do when you have food poisoning while I got the fosters ready to go on a weekend visit with the family members they'll be moving in with next week, as well as getting our stuff ready to go to Idaho Falls. We definitely needed to get out of town for awhile!
Friday morning, Tanner felt well enough to embark on the journey so we loaded up and headed north, dropping the kids off with the family along the way. By the time we got to Idaho, Tanner was back to being under the weather but Tate and Emerson were ready to see the sights. So he stayed at his grandparents house while I went with my parents and sisters in laws to walk around the falls and check out all of the vendors with the kids. (I kept checking over my shoulder for a nine year old who had wandered off, it was nice to have kids who stayed close by!) That evening, we had a BBQ with the Ricks family and then walked over to the firework festivities that evening.
Tate and Emerson had a blast and weren't even scared or too tired even through it was like five hours after their bedtime! They were tiny troopers! When we got back to the house, Tate climbed in our van and said "ok get "little big man" and Essa!" Other than that, they didn't mention missing them hardly at all which is hopefully a good sign.
The next day, we packed up and headed home. Sunday we went to church and all of that good stuff and picked the kids up at 7:30 that night. They came out with brand new, name brand clothes and didn't want anything to do with us anymore. They told us about their 10pm bedtime and how they're too busy to go to church anymore. I must say I expected a wide variety of emotions in this process of transition but, I didn't expect to have my feelings hurt. I felt like our clothes weren't good enough, our house isn't good enough and we're not good enough. (let's be honest, it's an embarrassing way to feel, normal people would be only happy that they're happy) I begged in the meeting to let them just move in during the first overnight visit but no one agreed to it. Now this last week is extra. . . complicated. They don't want to be here anymore and have made it clear they won't miss us. I just want to rip the band aid off for us and Tate and Emerson instead of prolonging it and keeping kids who want to be else where here. There's nothing fun about the foster care process. I've never worked so hard and felt so unappreciated by so many different people at once EVER. (DCFS, their family, the kids, etc.)
So, let me give a little shout out to those of you who feel people just do foster care for the money. . .
(Tanner had a co worker say, "now that the kids are leaving, how do you plan to pay your mortgage?" So lucky you get to read my wrath)
First of all, I did the math we make about $0.25/hour with this gold mine so many apparently think we've hit, that's not taking out what portion we've spent on the kids themselves.
So, when you add up the sleepless nights, over 2000 miles put onto the car, the temper tantrums, the throwing, yelling, pants wetting, hair pulling, disrespecting, spitting, hitting, running away from home, etc. I really don't feel like I've struck it rich in the financial department.
So if ever the words "some people just do it for the money" have spilled out of your head, please eat them. I'm not judging, I said it once I'm sure, just take this moment to be enlightened.
Tah, dah! I'm off my soap box. Thanks for putting up with it!!
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