Lifebooks

One of the best things that the state provides for foster parents are monthly foster cluster classes. In Tooele, these classes also provide child care and they teach us ways to help our family function and to meet the needs of the kids in our home. They are also a great way to get support from fellow foster people (so if you are a foster parent find your cluster!!)

At our last foster cluster, we were learning about Life Books. Life Books are a way for kids to reflect on their life and the situation they are in. Not only are they good for foster/adopted children, they are good for all children and even adults. It has been shown that people who take the time to accept, work through and love their story/history as well as come to understand it, are able to have happy, securely attached relationships as adults and are more able to cope with things as they face future challenges.

If you Google Life Books, you will find LOTS of preprinted books that kids can fill in to record their stories, but these often are leading and leave holes in the overall picture. After the class, I have been trying to find a way to incorporate Life Books for our kids. We have come to the decision to use journals so that they have more freedom to write what is on their mind, whether that be a lot or a little. With that, I have typed up journal prompts for them to write about at least once a week a long with the daily journal entries recording the day in and day out of their new life.

My prompt is based on the Life Book put together by IOWA State. It is my favorite so far because you can print the pages that apply to the kids in your house and you can make multiple copies and put it in a binder.

 

Remember,

the most important part about Life Books are that they are age appropriate and mostly in the child's own words (these books are for THEM, not us)

and,

They include the good with the bad! If we leave out the bad, we're not doing them any favors, in order to accept ourselves and where we come from and fully deal with everything, we need to work through all parts of our lives.

 

Here is the link to the IOWA State Lifebook:

http://www.ifapa.org/publications/IFAPA_Lifebook_Pages.asp

And Here is the Journal prompts I put together:

Whether you have foster kids or not, you might want to consider doing something like this with your kids, it's very therapeutic!

Life Book Journal Questions

Help the child make a journal, then everyday choose a question (they are intended to be in order but that is up to you, add/remove questions as is appropriate for their situation) Encourage the children to write in their own words (you can be their scribe if needed), draw pictures, and glue in photographs/memorabilia. This book is meant to be for THE KIDS. Their memories, their perspective. Allow them to take breaks and deal with the hard topics as needed. It will not only be hard for them, but it will be hard for you to hear some of their stories. Make sure  you are loving and encourage them as they tell their stories. Be careful not to judge their stories and reactions to them. Many topics can and should be used over and over, possibly yearly.

Another way to use these questions in a journal format is to have the child write a daily (ish, things get crazy)  journal entry about what happened that day, and once a week have them answer a question from the list (still in order) this way current events are recorded and reflected upon as well as the past events. Encourage the child to write down in their daily entries what they did, who was there and HOW THEY FELT. You may consider encouraging they write the PIT and the PEAK (the best part and worst part of the day)

1.       All About Me:

My Favorite Food, Color, Book, Game, Toy, Friends, Movie, TV Show, Story, Ice Cream, Candy Bar, Place to go

2.      Things I remember from Age 0-3 (What is your favorite memory, what is your saddest memory?) 3-6, 6-8,8-9 (do each age group on a different day. Do this up to the age that the child went into foster care and then continue on to the following questions:

3.      Birthdays: My favorite birthday was when I turned:________ We (who what when where why how)
My saddest birthday was when I turned :_____ We (who what when where why how)
-Other Birthday memories are: _______

4.      Draw your family “tree”, Talk about your family members

5.      Write about your extended family members and memories you have with them.

6.      The day I went into foster care….I went into foster care because…When I went into foster care I felt….On the first day in my new foster home we did….I felt…..I like foster care because….I don’t like foster care because….

7.      Special messages from important people. (invite friends, family members, coaches, teachers and other leaders to write one small paragraph to the child if desired)

8.     Write about the members of your foster family (names, what you like to do with them)

9.      Before I went into Foster Care things that made me feel….HAPPY, SAD, EXCITED, LOVED, PROUD, MAD, SAFE, SCARED, BRAVE, ALONE, SMART

10.  After I went into Foster Care things that make me feel…. HAPPY, SAD, EXCITED, LOVED, PROUD, MAD, SAFE, SCARED, BRAVE, ALONE, SMART

11.   One of the most special days I remember was….who, what, when, where, how

12.  School Memories:
-In first grade I went to school at: ____my teacher was: _____, My favorite part was: _____ my worst part was: _____ my best friend was: ______ I lived: ____, my favorite subject was:____
-In second grade I went to school at: ____my teacher was: _____, My favorite part was: _____ my worst part was: _____ my best friend was: ______ I lived:___ my favorite subject was: _____

13.  Today, my best friend is: _____We like to: ___ What I love about him/her: ___ How we met: _____

14.  Places I’ve Lived: When I was 1, 2 , 3 etc. I lived: Fun things I did were: People I knew where: The worst part about living there was: The best part about living there was:

15.   My favorite things to do outside of school are (extra  curricular activities) Who does them with you, who is the leader/coach, I like it because, I’ve done it since I was (age)

16.  Vacation Times: My favorite vacation was: We went to: Who went: What I want to remember most about it was:

17.   Things I remember from Age 0-3 (What is your favorite memory, what is your saddest memory?) 3-6, 6-8,8-9 (do each age group on a different day. Do the ages after the child came into foster care

18.   Words that describe me are: (fun, athletic, quiet, loud, smart, happy, proud, outgoing, wild, nervous, bossy, generous, loving, mad, tired, kind, beautiful, handsome, adventurous, special, dreamer, confused, friendly, silly, tall, short, small, big, old, young)

19.  If I could change ONE thing I would….

20.  Dear Dad, (allow the child to write ANYTHING they want to his/her father) You might want to repeat this as the child ages, also this is good even if the child hasn’t met this parent, they often still have things they would say to him

21.  Dear Mom, (allow the child to write ANYTHING they want to his/her father)

22. Dear Foster Dad

23. Dear Foster Mom

24. Dear (any other important person to the child)

25.   My thoughts about my family are (allow child to define his/her family and feelings about it)

26. My Beliefs (Religious beliefs, basically the child’s testimony)

27.  Church Activities (scouts, baptisms etc.) Remember Who, what when where why and how

28.  Someone I look up to is:  I look up to this person because:

29.  HOLIDAYS Valentines, St. Patricks, Easter, 4^th of July, Thanksgiving, Christmas (things I use to do on these holidays, my favorite valentines , easter, etc. was, we (who, what, when where, I felt) The worst holiday was we (who what when where why, I felt)

30.  My Predictions for the future are: Inventions, new ways to travel, new discoveries, my future care, a day in the life of 2050 will be like:

31.  My future plans:
My goals are:
How to reach my goals are:

I want to be_____When I grow up
My next step
My dream for myself  is:

 

32. Important people (in the back cover of the journal, you might want to write down important people contact information like former foster families, and current foster families so that if someday they want to reach out, they will be able to. Use common sense and caution when choosing who to put on this sheet, and how much information to provide (phone numbers, email addresses etc.)

33. SEASONS: What I like about Summer, Spring, Fall, Winter

34. I am thankful for….

35.  I wonder about….

36.  My Brother/Sister: Complete for each sibling/foster sibling
My brother is important to me because…
We like to____
Words that describe my brother are
My favorite memory with him are

37.  Other people I lived with in my birth family:
This person  is important to me because…
We like to____
Words that describe this person are
My favorite memory with him is

38.  FOR FOSTER PARENT: The day you came into our family (date, your age, how we got you, how we felt)

39.  If I could change one thing I would….

40.  LOOK AT ME (insert a picture of the child and have him/her draw a picture of themselves) My name is ____ I am ___ years old. I am ____inches tall. I weigh ____pounds. I look like _____ I have ___eyes I have ____ hair

41.  Look how I’ve grown! I lived with the ____family from ____ to ____. I came to live with them  on (date) I was ___ old, ____inches tall, Weighed ___ pounds. The ____Family’s contact info was.

42. My adoption Day (who was there, when it was, how I felt, how old I was)

43. YOUR ADOPTION DAY (filled out by ADOPTIVE!! Yay! parents) how we felt, who was there, the best part was

44.  My entire family story is….

45.  My Birth mom
-her name is
-she was (age) when I was born
-things that are great about her are
-things I miss about her
-the reason I can’t live with her is
-my wish for her is
-If I could tell her anything I would tell her…

46. My Birth Dad
-his name is
-he was (age) when I was born
-things that are great about him are
-things I miss about him
-the reason I can’t live with him is
-my wish for him is
-If I could tell her anything I would tell him…

47.  My Foster/adoptive mom
-her name is
-she was (age) when I was born (she was busy doing…)
-things that are great about her are
-I like living with her because
-my wish for her is
-If I could tell her anything I would tell her…

48. My Foster/adoptive dad
-his name is
-his was (age) when I was born(he was busy doing…)
-things that are great about him are
-I like living with her because
-my wish for him is
-If I could tell him anything I would tell her…

49. My Wishes
-my wish for myself right now
-My wish for myself in the future
-My wish for the world is
-My wish for my family is

50.  More about me…..
If you could hear my thoughts  you would know I….like, love, miss, wish, pray for, am afraid of, happy when, sad when, cry when
If you could see inside my hear you would see that I love….that ____broke it, that ____ is healing it, that I feel ____about myself