When Mom Doesn't Come

Today was another one of those hard ones...

All my kiddos look forward to is another visit with their mom. This morning was no different. They eagerly got ready for their visit this morning; they packed their toys and picked out their favorite outfits. We hurried and loaded up in the car and headed out on the 45 minute drive to the DCFS office. When we pulled up, the kids quickly ran inside and we were met by their caseworker. She explained that she had not heard from mom and wanted me to wait for a few minutes to make sure she arrived. The kids got settled in with the toys and awaited her arrival. When the customary fifteen minutes were up, the caseworker said it was time to go. I explained to the kids that it appeared that their mom might not have been able to get a ride to the visit so we'd have to wait until next week. (Not all lie, not all truth) Essa didn't understand at first, but Little Big Man got very quiet and upset. I couldn't get him to talk until I suggested he write note to his mom to leave with the caseworker in case she came another day. (It also bought another ten minutes of waiting time) This seemed to help because he was able to buy time to wait for her and was able to get his feelings out. The weight of the situation didn't hit Essa until we were in the parking lot walking toward the car. That's when she broke down and cried/screamed for over an hour straight.

Going forward, mom will be required to contact the caseworker and verify she will make it before we drive out. If she misses too often, visits will be cancelled.

Today was a humbling reminder of how blessed I am to have the family life I do and that I am able to raise my birth kids in such a good environment. It is heartbreaking to see kids go through all this muck, it's not fair either. I wish I could make it all better. I'm thankful for the Friend magazine this month  (https://www.lds.org/friend) it teaches kids about the atonement and that Christ has already carried their burdens and that he'll be there to comfort them. What a blessing His atonement is. I am grateful these kids get to learn at such a young age of Christ's love and how amazing it is to be encircled by it.

I didn't know foster care would be such an amazing testimony builder.